The G-Spot - Lunchbox No More?
Column by: Ace Gigilo on 02/24/2004

You know, in my travels over the last few months, one question has kept popping up. From L.A., to Tokyo, to Fargo, all people want to know is, has Tyson lost any weight? Is your plan working for him? Well, I'm hear to tell you that it is! Don't believe me? Well, I have photographic proof! No, these pictures are not like the infamous Loch Ness Monster pics or even the Bigfoot photos you've seen for years! Well, I guess Tyson could be mistaken for Nessie....but anyway, you've wanted proof and now I have it!

Feast your eyes on Tyson in action at the RCW Training Facility! Be amazed as he runs the ropes, from side to side, without the ropes snapping like one of his former favorite snacks, Slim Jims! Marvel at how the ring keeps from tipping up on it's side as my husky trainee hits the ropes like a man on a mission(no not Mabel). Is that all you ask? Running ropes? Hell no! Behold my plump progeny actually doing push-ups!!! Before this, the only push-ups he would do were orange sherbet! No more! You can see my motivational tactics as I wear my infamous "FU" shirt while shouting encouragement as well as insults! This way every time Ty looks up and sees the big FU, he knows exactly what I think of him! It works people! Anytime he says" I don't know Ace, I'm getting tired", I say, "Hey, beach ball, read my shirt!" Nothing works better than ridcule to whip you into shape!

So now the only question is, how much has he lost? Well, he's not finished yet! We still have over 3 weeks til the next big RCW show, and Ty-Tanic is still dropping the poundage! How much more can he lose? What other training tactics will I use? Will you even recognize Tyson when you see him at the show? We shall see! Right now, I gotta go show him the difference between the kind of pie he eats and the kind of "pie" I eat. Ah, a gigolo's work is never done...

Ace Gigolo